I know many of you have called or emailed words of support and to ask how Deziray’s father, Barry, is doing.  For some of you, this may be the first you’ve heard of what has happened.

First, I would like to thank you for your prayers, support, and concern.  Second, I’d like to apologize for the many calls and emails that have gone unreturned.  I know that in the time I’ve spent with Deziray over the last week, there’s hardly a period of 5 minutes when her phone isn’t ringing with someone calling to encourage her and to ask about her Dad.  We are both so very thankful and amazed at the level of support that’s coming our way in so many different forms.

I want to let you know more about what happened, and where we stand, keeping in mind that my abilities are limited at communicating the precise medical facts.  I’ll do my best and hope I do Deziray proud.

Barry has suffered from Type 1 Diabeties for quite some time.  He’s also battled a few other health conditions that have led to weakened kidney and liver function that has progressively gotten worse over the past year.  As a result of these circumstances, Deziray, her family, and Barry made the decision to move him closer to us last month so that she could be available to him daily and at a moment’s notice if needed since she is a P.A.  It was a move that brought about several positive outcomes, but was not without risk.  For the past month, he’s enjoyed a newfound independence at his new apartment, and since he was just 2 miles from us, we’ve enjoyed more of his presence.  He’s gotten to spend several evenings watching Alessondra, and Deziray and Alessondra often treated him to lunch during the weekdays.  The past several weeks have been encouraging to see his spirits lifted.

His condition, however, made him vulnerable to potential seizures, which can be triggered when his blood sugar isn’t where it should be.  Deziray has been very committed to monitoring him and holding him accountable to maintaining his health and blood sugar levels.  Early Monday evening of this past week, Deziray called to check in on him and based on their conversation, she could tell his blood sugar was not likely where it should be.  She stayed on the phone with him until he had prepared something to eat.  This was pretty common, and part of the reason why she was very dedicated to calling him regularly to check in on him. 

Tuesday morning, she called as usual to check back in on him but received no answer.  She drove to his apartment to check in on him and her worst fear was realized.  As best we can tell, some time the night before Barry suffered a seizure while in the shower.  The seizure most likely was result of ongoing liver failure which resulted in comatose state and blood sugar of 1700.  He is in multi system organ failure now.  It was fortunate that Deziray got there when she did, and while she waited for the paramedics, she did her best to tend to him, while keeping Alessondra at bay so as to not see her Papa Bear in that condition.

Since Tuesday, he has been in the Mercy ICU, and many tests have been administered.  They have determined that his kidneys and liver are not functioning, that during his seizure he broke two bones in his leg, and they have him on a dialysis machine, respirator, and feeding tube.  His heart is beating on its own, and he is somewhat capable of breathing on his own, but the respirator is necessary to provide adequate breathing strength.  He has been unresponsive, however, to treatment or to any stimuli.

For the past week, Deziray has been committed to overseeing his care and leading her family through this crisis.  Barry’s mother, sister, and 2 brothers have spent most of each day on shifts spending time with him, and Deziray has been there nearly non-stop, coming home occasionally to shower and nap.  While she his exhausted, she continues to show tremendous strength, leadership, and determination to making sure that every possible opportunity is seized to give Barry the best effort at saving him.  While we are all aware and faithful of God’s ability to bring healing, we also realize that it may not be His will, or what is best for Barry at this point.  The doctors have done everything they can do at this point.  Deziray, along with her sister (who unfortunately cannot travel here from her home in Colorado because she is due any time to have her baby), grandmother, aunt, and uncles, have determined that while nothing more can be actively done, they do not want to actively deny God or Barry the opportunity to turn this around.  They will re-evaluate after this weekend whether there is cause to continue life support.

Many have asked how Deziray is holding up.  I would say quite well, but also appropriately emotional as one might expect.  She has her down moments, but her strength is remarkable.  She is unbelievably committed to giving him the best care and being there with him through this.  She has been moved by so much support from friends, family, and colleagues who have come to the hospital to check in on her and bring her meals, treats, and Starbucks.

Alessondra and I have been going up to see Mommy daily, sometimes more than once, and otherwise are trying to maintain as normal of a routine as possible for the sake of Alessondra.  She misses Mommy, and knows that Papa Bear is sick and that Mommy is helping to take care of him, but does not yet possess the capacity to comprehend exactly what is happening (we haven’t taken her into his room).

Many have asked what you can do to help.  Many family members and friends have already done so much, from food, snacks, visitation, and taking care of Alessondra when Daddy needs to work.  Our Life Group is providing meals each night, and we are so grateful for that.  What you can do most importantly is pray for peace for Barry, Deziray, and her family.  Pray for peace and assurance for Deziray in regard to her feeling as though she could or should have done something more to prevent this (it is very improbable that she or anyone else could have done anything to change the outcome).  Finally, pray for continuing agreement within and support from our family as Deziray leads them through some of the toughest decisions life can present.  It’s one of those situations that we here on Earth want for our own reasons for him to be healed, but there is also a clear understanding of the reality of the situation, and we take comfort knowing that Barry is a Christian and could soon be in a better place. 

If you would like me to relay any messages to Deziray for you, or if you have any questions, please send them to me and I will be sure to pass along the thoughts, and do my best to get back with you on any questions.  I will also let you know if anything changes.

We thank everyone so much for such amazing support, and are privileged to be among such a great group of family and friends.